With cancer, your sex life may change in unexpected ways. We’re here to make sure sex doesn’t become the elephant in the bedroom. You can get between the sheets, but not if nobody’s talking about it.
Cancer can affect your sex life in many ways, like your physical ability to engage in sexual activity, your interest in sex (AKA being in the mood), increased emotions such as fear, anxiety, or anger, and new feelings about your body. Here are a few tips to navigate it all:
Moving your body releases endorphins, which in turn can help you think more positively.
How else is your partner going to know what you’re thinking? Having open and honest conversations can help you work through your feelings. Your partner will only know how to support you if you share with them.
Talking to people who understand what you’re going through can help you feel more supported. Try connecting with a support group or mental health professional in your area.
It’s not all about sex. Finding alternative ways to experience pleasure and intimacy can help you adjust. Try kissing and cuddling, using pornographic content, getting a vibrator or other toys, setting the mood with candles, or playing out a sexual fantasy.
Give yourself space, this is a new part of life. It might take a few tries to find a position that is comfortable or to work up enough energy for sex.
You’re probably happy to be seeing your doctor less frequently these days, but if you have questions about your sex life after cancer, your doctor is your best resource.
Research has found that people struggle with physical changes that impact their sex lives after completing treatment. Here are some common physical changes that you may experience, as well as tips to address them in relation to your sex life.
Research has found that many people struggle with mental changes that impact their sex lives after completing treatment. Here are some common mental changes that you may experience, as well as tips to address them in relation to your sex life.
Dating can be nerve racking on a regular day, even when you don’t have to think about cancer. But, when you are ready to start dating, consider these tips.
You might want to prepare what you’re going to say to your new love interest beforehand – write it down, read through it a few times, or practice saying it in the mirror. It can also be helpful to have some answers prepared for questions they might ask.
If you’re comfortable, show them any scars or changes to your body. This can help you feel more confident when you’re ready to show your body to a new partner.
You might want to share with them the changes that your body has gone through before initiating sexual activity so you can gauge how you both feel before becoming intimate.
Your fertility (including the ability to have children) may have changed due to your cancer treatment. Figuring out how to tell a new partner about this aspect of your cancer might be hard, but it’s an important conversation to have.
If you are uninterested or unable to engage in sexual activity, you can still have romantic feelings, and you and a new partner can focus on showing each other affection by talking, cuddling, kissing, and spending time together. Sex is not the only important piece of a romantic relationship.
Cancer is hard. Visit our library to help navigate cancer’s impact on your heart, body, soul, and everything in between.
