Sex & Relationships - Lets Fuck Cancer


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A caregiver’s guide to

Sex & Relationships

If your partner’s been diagnosed with cancer, you’re also likely going through a whirlwind of change. This is even more extreme if you’re acting as a caregiver to your partner. While many aspects of your sex life may be temporarily altered while your partner has cancer, this period of life can allow you to build a closer relationship with your partner and find increased intimacy as a result.

What to Expect

Many caregivers feel confused and scared when it comes to maintaining a sex life with their partner who has cancer. These are normal responses to caring for a sick partner, but if you and your partner are interested in rekindling the spark it is possible through honest communication, patience, and a little bit of creativity to find ways you can excite each other.

It’s important to remember that even if sex is off the table for you and your partner, there are other ways of creating physical intimacy. Feeling close to your partner can help make the cancer experience more manageable and assist in the recovery process.

Things you may be experiencing

  • No longer feeling sexual feelings towards your partner while they are battling cancer
  • Viewing your partner more as a patient than as someone you’re sexually attracted to
  • Feeling scared of hurting your partner during sex
  • Feeling unwanted or unattractive due to changes in your sex life
  • Feeling tired from your caretaking responsibilities and trying to keep your lives afloat during this time
  • Feeling disappointed, angry, sad, distressed, out of control, lonely, anxious, or powerless


  • Try finding a support group for partners and/or caregivers of someone with cancer. Having an opportunity to talk to other people in a similar spot as you are in can help normalize your own experiences.
  • If you don’t already see a therapist, try finding someone you trust. Having someone who is unbiased and on your side is very helpful to process this experience.
  • Be patient with yourself and your partner. This is a new experience for you both and will take some time to adjust to.
  • Communicate, communicate, communicate. Having an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you both are feeling, what physical and mental changes you’re experiencing, and your desires for your sex life during this time can help immensely
  • Try to accept that your sex life might look different than it did before your partner’s cancer diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean that it’s over. Having a willingness to be creative will help you both find new ways to experience intimacy and desire together.

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